


I Am a Dog

by Metallic_Sweet



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, Families of Choice, Gen, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Moral Ambiguity, Other, Post-Canon, Reincarnation, Service Dogs, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 17:56:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6205048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metallic_Sweet/pseuds/Metallic_Sweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kanae reincarnates as Tsukiyama's therapy dog.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am a Dog

My name is Kara.

I am a dog.

I was born on the street. I am not sure where. It was the rainy season, and I remember being hungry and cold. Things smelled bad. I was probably covered in afterbirth, dirt, and waste. I was likely abandoned for being the runt of the litter. Or my siblings and mother went before me. I do not know.

I knew nothing else.

That was how Master found me. Master picked me up out of the trash. I remember it was Master because of how he smelled: like roses, although I did not know what roses were then. He tucked me, stinking and mewling, into his coat. He took me somewhere that he told me was _safe_ even though it often did not feel like it. I was not wanted there, either, but Master held onto me. Washed me. Fed me. Held me close at night so that no one could throw me away.

Master saved me. He is kind. Perhaps not to everyone, because this world is cruel and often wrong, but he is kind to me.

So he is my Master.

Shuu-sama.

 

Most of the year, through autumn to the bloom of summer, I live in a luxury-serviced apartment in Victoria, London, with Master; his daughter, Hinami; and her husband, Ayato. Usually, we spent summer in Tokyo, where we were all born. This July, Hinami is expecting a pup, so we will not be returning to Tokyo to ensure the pup’s health. Instead, Master has explained, people who we usually visit in Tokyo will come to visit us.

I am very excited.

I cannot wait to go on walks with everyone visiting in the summer and to meet the new pup.

Right now, though, it is March. It is colder and windier than usual. Master is currently going through one of his cycles. He has periods where he sleeps too much and does not leave the apartment. Ayato and Hinami sometimes try to drag him out, to varying success. I have more luck with that, especially now that Hinami cannot walk me comfortably with the pup jostling her belly. Master can always be depended upon to take me for walks.

“Tsukiyama-san,” Hinami says today as Master puts my leash on, “please put on a hat. And Urie-san just messaged me: he’ll be calling at six tonight.”

Master looks up but still scratches my ear the way I like it best. “That’s terribly early for him.”

“It’s probably getting to be urgent,” Hinami says.

Master sighs. He straightens up and takes his hat off the hook. He hates hats, but he needs it in the current weather. Master’s health is not very good, especially when he is in one of his periods. He adjusts his hold on my leash and says good-bye to Hinami. We set out on our walk.

Today, we walk down to the river. This gets me excited, because that means that it is going to be a very long and exciting walk. We pass lots of people and even more pigeons, and then we stop briefly to wait out a heavy fall of rain at one of Master’s favourite places, the Tate Britain. It is a big museum full of things that I cannot see properly; there are too many colours. They do not allow dogs in unless I wear my working vest. I am not wearing my vest today because it was just a walk. 

Master sighs.

“I should have brought your vest,” he says to me in that tone that means he is just talking and not actually reprimanding anyone, except maybe himself.

Master does not have to reprimand me very often. I am a good dog, even when I am not wearing my working vest. I am always very alert and very careful. Master spends a lot of time reprimanding people. Even after five years, I am not very sure what Master’s work is, but it involves a lot of reprimanding, listening, and reprimanding again. He does not seem to like his work very much. It makes him sad most of the time.

We return home very wet. Hinami shakes her head at us and makes Master go take a bath to warm up after he dries me off with two towels. She brushes me while Master soaks and listens to the radio. She smells of decaffeinated coffee and of blood, which means she has just had lunch. I want her to give me a treat because I have been a very good dog, but she just smiles and bops my nose.

“Let me finish brushing you first.”

That is fair. Hinami has the lightest hand with brushing. It is very comfy, and she always makes thorough work so we do not have to brush more than once a day. Ayato can be too rough, especially with my ears and tail. Sometimes Master’s mind wanders, so he gets distracted and then I have to be brushed at another point during the day, too.

I know some dogs who think their masters are perfect. Those same dogs are also usually spoilt and stupid and think they themselves perfect. No one is perfect.

Not me. Not my pack. Not even Master.

There is a splashing noise. Hinami looks up. Master has finished his bath and is draining the tub. Hinami breathes out. She looks back at me. Begins brushing again, her free hand resting on her belly.

They are not perfect, but they are kind to me.

That is all I need.

 

Master’s favourite human colleague buys him an Easter basket this year.

Since the start of April, Master has been needing to go out to work, so I have been wearing my working vest every day. We meet several of Master’s human colleagues at a café near to the big building that Master works at by Hyde Park. I lie down by Master’s feet, because it is a very long meeting, which are very boring, so I notice the basket before Master does. It does not have any bad smells, so I do not alert Master to it. When his colleagues present it to him, Master is very surprised.

“It’s sort of more for your daughter and son-in-law,” Alex, Master’s favourite colleague, says, smiling broadly as Master holds the basket in its clear, crinkly packaging. “All of it is safe for infants.”

“Oh,” Master says, very softly, looking down through the packaging. “Thank you. Thank you very much.”

It is so exciting to take the package home after work, even though it looks really funny for Master to walk home with the big package in his left arm while his right hand holds my vest’s handle. It is lucky that he took the briefcase that can be converted into a backpack, even though Ayato teases him that it looks like an elementary schooler’s bag when it is worn like that.

“What is that?” Ayato asks when we get home.

“An Easter basket of baby supplies,” Master says, holding it out to Ayato, who stares at it like he sometimes stares at pigeons. “Alex made it for you and Hinami.”

“What,” Ayato says, but he reaches out and takes it. “Is this some kind of British tradition?”

Master shrugs off his briefcase before motioning to me to come so that he can take off my work vest. He is not in a very talkative mood. If he was, he would probably tease Ayato. From the way Ayato sighs, this is not lost on him.

“How did the meeting go?”

“Well enough,” Master says, squatting down and rubbing my now free sides; I cannot help but lick at his face. “Ah, Kara-chan, my glasses–”

Ayato sighs. “That’s good. Kaneki-san called.”

Master stills. His arms are around me. They have gone heavy.

“What did he say?”

Ayato snorts. He leans against the wall between the coat rack and the shoe stand. Crosses his arms. He is still dressed like he was at work. I sniff the air. He smells like blood and meat. It means he went hunting. He is not supposed to, but Hinami needs to eat more with the pup on the way. I have heard Master and Ayato discussing it when Hinami is out.

“He wants to talk to you at your earliest convenience.”

“Ah,” Master says.

He stands up. Picks up his briefcase again and my work vest. He hangs the work vest on my peg on the coat rack. Glances at Ayato. Inhales.

“Wash again before Hinami-chan comes home.”

Ayato’s eyebrows draw together. He nods.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Master puts on house slippers and moves towards his office. I follow after even though I am not working. Master settles himself at his desk and computer, taking out his laptop and phone from his briefcase to complete the station. I sit next to him and lie my head on his lap. Butt my nose underneath his elbow. It makes Master breathe out and pat my head as he calls Kaneki.

“Tsukiyama-san,” Kaneki’s voice says, hard and impassive, “thank you for calling me back.”

Kaneki is not part of the pack.

“Of course, Kaneki-kun,” Master says, soft and kind. “What do you need?”

Kaneki is not kind.

“There’s been some pushback by Washuu Yoshitoki and his contingent in the LDP.”

I do not like Kaneki.

“Ah,” Master sighs, and his fingers pet idly over the crown of my head and ears. “Tell me.”

They work long into the night until Kaneki has to go to work in his morning. During that time, Hinami comes home and feeds me. I fall asleep back in Master’s office and wake up to find that Master has curled up next to me on the floor. It is very late, but I lick him awake so that he will remember to shower and go to bed.

Master does not get up.

He wraps his arms around me and cries instead.

It is at times like these that I am powerless.

Master very obviously loves Kaneki. He treats Kaneki like he is part of our pack even though Kaneki is not. It is obvious in how he gravitates toward Kaneki when we are in Tokyo. He sometimes whispers Kaneki’s name in his sleep. There are many names Master calls for when he sleeps, and Kaneki is one that he sometimes will wake up calling. Him or someone named Matsumae or for his father or for someone else named Kanae and Karen, who I am named after. I do not know why.

I know that Master’s father, his Matsumae, and his Kanae and Karen are dead. I know that when Master saved me, he was grieving. He held onto me so tightly as the world rumbled. He wept and fought and kept me safe and gave me my name. The people around him whom he fought with did not understand.

“It’s just a dog,” they said.

It is true. I am a dog. Master is a ghoul, and it would have been easier for him not to hold onto anything other than himself. But he did because Master is kind.

I know, too, that Kaneki is the only name that Master calls for who is still alive. He is one of the people who are examples of why this world is cruel and sometimes wrong. He did not understand why Master held onto me, although he accepts my presence now when we have met in Tokyo, when I am wearing my working vest. To him, like a lot of other humans and ghouls, wearing my vest shows that I have a purpose. It proves that I am useful to Master, just like how Master has to prove that he is useful to them. His kindness is not enough for them to love him.

“Tsukiyama-san?” Hinami murmurs as she opens the study’s door once the sun has risen on another day.

Master does not move. I look at her in the doorway. I cannot go to her because Master is holding me. She smells of Ayato, the detergent we use on bedding, and salt. Sadness.

“I’m going to make coffee,” Hinami says, very gently. “Let’s all have breakfast together, okay?”

Against my right hind leg, Master breathes out. “Okay.”

It should be enough. I do not understand why so many humans and ghouls think something has to prove itself to be worthy of love. The fact that Master loves Kaneki, who does not love him half as much or treat him even partially as kindly, is proof that Master is imperfect. It is something he and Hinami share, for she loves Kaneki, too. It always makes Ayato very angry, which he expresses to me when he takes me to a park where I can go off-leash and chase a ball.

“That bastard got her imprisoned and left her to rot,” he bites out as he kneads my ball between his fists; we are seated on a bench faraway from the handful other early morning owners and dogs. “Killed his family and your damn namesake. Got my sister–”

Ayato chokes himself off. Swallows. He has squashed my ball flat. It is not the first time. Some days, especially when Kaneki has been called or around recently, Ayato needs to do things like this. He is a hunter down to the bone.

“And they _still_ love him,” he mutters, throwing the ruined ball away and reaching down to pat my head in apology. “It’s barking mad. Pardon the pun.”

I do not truly understand what a pun is, much like I cannot see the colours in Master’s favourite art. But Ayato is less angry, which allows him to be kind again, and that is enough.

We go home.

 

Master passes into a better period as the weather warms. My working vest goes on when we have to meet with many people Master works with and does not particularly like, but, aside from when he needs me in crowded museums, I do not have to do much work.

The pup will be born very soon. It is very exciting news. Ayato’s sister, Touka, comes in early June to help out along with Miza. They take over the food production duties so that Ayato and Master do not have to worry.

“I’m still not used to this,” Touka tells Ayato.

It is just us in the kitchen, because Master has taken Hinami and Miza to the opera for the evening. Neither Touka nor Ayato like the opera, and this one was too long for me. Touka and Ayato are preparing a soup for when everyone comes home. It smells delicious.

“This?” Ayato asks as he washes something in the sink.

“You know what I mean,” Touka mutters, and they glance at each other. “Or did you used to dream of traveling the world secretly as a kid?”

Ayato does not say anything. After a long moment, Touka goes back to cutting meat from the bone. I let my eyes fall almost shut, listening to them in case of any distress.

I do not remember very much of my puppy days. What I do know is Master’s kindness and how scary everything was. I think that is what everyone is talking about when they think they are alone, what bound this pack together before I was here. It is why Master, Hinami, and Ayato are separated from everyone back in Tokyo, so that a pup can be born.

For Tokyo is still dangerous. We have to be very careful when we go back there, especially because of Master’s work and Hinami and Ayato’s connections. I wear my work vest constantly then. The only times I am separate from Master is when Kaneki is involved. It has taught me that this is a cruel world and often wrong.

I fall asleep deeply enough that Master greeting me when he is back with Hinami and Miza wakes me.

“Aw, Kara-chan,” he says as I bounce up to lick his face, “my glasses–”

“It always happens,” Ayato mutters; he and Touka are on the couch watching the television.

Master snorts. He lifts me up, bundling me in his arms like he did back when I was a tiny pup. I cannot help but squirm, because I am so happy. I know most dogs my size cannot be held so securely by their masters. Hinami and Miza step around us. They go to join Touka and Ayato on the couch.

“Did the two you have good sibling time?” Master asks as he adjusts his hold on me to rest his chin on the crown of my head.

“Sure,” Ayato says very blandly. “Did you have a good time at the opera?”

“Oh, yes,” Hinami and Master say at the same time.

“It was weird,” Miza says, very bluntly, which makes Touka and Ayato laugh uproariously.

Master carries me over to the couches and television. He lets me down as he sits in the space next to Miza. I sit on his feet and butt my nose under his elbow so he will pet me. Master smiles and obliges.

He is kind. Perhaps not to everyone, because this world is often cruel and wrong, but, to his pack and to me, he is kind.

He is my master.

Shuu-sama.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Natsubaki for the late night beta!


End file.
